


Graduation

by SilverCrane



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverCrane/pseuds/SilverCrane
Summary: It's graduation time, and Yahaba isn't ready.
Relationships: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	Graduation

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of that one Richard Siken poem!

They're in Kyoutani's car, and the silence weighs heavily around him. Kyoutani is staring, straight ahead, and Shigeru can feel the tension emanating from him- can sense it in the way his fingers are tapping on the wheel, the way his eyebrows are scrunched together.

They're in Kyoutani's car, and the road stretches out before them, and Shigeru wishes it would go on forever, because he knows what lies at the end. He shifts in his seat, unused to the fit of his good pair of pants. His blazer feels tight around his neck, and he feels like he's suffocating. His hands are shaking, and he tightens them into fists to stop it.

"So." Kyoutani says, breaking the silence. They're almost there, and Shigeru's leg starts bouncing. He can't help it. "Tohei."

"Yeah." He echoes. "Tohei." Kyoutani isn't meeting his eyes, hasn't for the past hour. 

"Still can't believe you got in." Kyoutani continues, as if Shigeru can't hear the tightness in his voice, can't see the way his fingers grip the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

Shigeru gives a strained laugh at that. "Me neither." He folds his hands in his lap and presses them down on his thigh, trying to stop the bouncing. It doesn't work.

Kyoutani's fingers drum on the wheel, matching up to Shigeru's leg. "All the way in Tokyo. It's pretty far, think you'll be okay?" He brakes for the stop sign, turning around to look at the lanes and completely avoiding Shigeru's eyes. It wouldn't matter anyways, because Shigeru's gaze is firmly planted at his lap.

"I'll be fine." He says, although his voice quavers slightly. "My brother managed just fine, didn't he?"

He can hear Kyoutani's hands tighten at that, and the car starts moving again. "You're not your brother, Yahaba."

Shigeru grits his teeth, nails digging into the soft flesh of his palms. "And what about you?" He asks, coming out more aggressive than he expected. "It's not exactly going to be easy, going pro straight out of high school."

"I'll be fine." Kyoutani answers gruffly. "I've already gotten an invitation to try out for a few Division Three teams."

Shigeru sighs, absentmindedly running a hand through his gelled-back hair. "Hey Kyoutani." He glances over at Kyoutani, who for once, meets his gaze. "Will you remember me? When your famous and all." He presses his nails deep into his skin. It's dangerously close to a confession, and he feels _wrong._

Kyoutani holds his gaze for a few seconds that stretch into eternity, before turning back to the road. "It'd be pretty hard to forget your stupid face." He grumbles, but Shigeru can see the tips of his ears reddening. It makes him smile, and he turns back to the window, watching the houses flash by.

"And you?" Kyoutani says, after a lull of silence. He turns, eyes catching on Kyoutani's amber ones. He stops the car, and Shigeru's gaze snaps to the front. Aoba Johsai had never seemed so ominous, but now, knowing it's the last day he'll ever see it, he's filled with a sense of foreboding. 

"And me?" His mouth says, running on automatic. Neither of them make any move to leave the car.

Kyoutani shifts, hands dropping from the wheel. "Will you remember me? When you're off studying your stupid college courses." He turns to look at Shigeru, who meets his gaze. His voice is impossibly soft, a strange look in his eyes. "Will you remember me, Yahaba?"

The sound of his name sends a shiver up his spine, and he subconsciously grips his chest. "It'd be pretty hard to forget your stupid face." He echoes Kyoutani's earlier words, before throwing on a quick "asshole." For good measure. 

Kyoutani scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest, and the tension in the air lifts. Shigeru feels like he can breathe, watching a small smile cross over Kyoutani's face. 

"So." He says, that stupid smile still on his face. "We're graduating."

Shigeru's good mood immidiately fails. He exhales sharply, pressing his palms against his eyes. "We're graduating." He echoes, voice shaky.

Kyoutani reaches over, his hands warm through the dark fabric of Shigeru's blazer. It makes him feel all sorts of things- anxious, elated, and all sorts of wrong. He swallows down the little voice telling him to reach over and touch Kyoutani back, lifts his head and forces on a smile he's perfected over the years.

"If you told me first year I'd be sitting in a car with Kyoutani Kentarou, about to graduate, I'd think you were crazy." He attempts a joke, straightening up and brushing off Kyoutani's hand. It earns him a worried look, but he doesn't press the topic, instead turning back to the front, gazing up at their school.

"Maybe I am crazy." Kyoutani jokes, amber eyes flitting over to Shigeru. "Maybe we're both crazy."

That makes him smile, wringing his hands together in his lap. "We should get out." He says, but neither of them make any move to do so. They just sit there, Kyoutani on the right and Shigeru in the passengers seat next to him, Shigeru with his hair gelled back, Kyoutani missing his blazer. Their seatbelts are still on.

"Yahaba." Kyoutani says suddenly, catching Shigeru's eyes again. There are so many things swirling behind them, and Shigeru can't even begin to decipher exactly what he's thinking. But he knows. He knows exactly what's coming, and it fills his stomach with butterflies and nausea. "Yahaba I-"

"Don't." He interrupts, pressing his nails into his skin. He thinks maybe his voice cracks, but there's static filling his head and he's not entirely certain he even spoke, so he says it again. "Don't. Please, I can't-" He's trembling, and he can't stop, and he can't look up because that's where Kyoutani is and he can't look forward, because that's where the school is, so he's just trapped, gripping his hands into tight fists.

"Yahaba?" Kyoutani asks, his voice as soft as before, yet it still somehow cuts Shigeru. That voice is only for him, and he hates it. Hates what it means.

"I can't." He sobs, and suddenly there are tears swelling up in his eyes, obstructing his vision. It all comes flooding down on him- they're graduating, and he's leaving. He could never see Kyoutani again. 

And he's in love.

There are warm hands on his arm, burning through his blazer that has never felt more restricting. "Hey. Yahaba, breathe." He sounds concerned, embarrassed, conflicted. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? We don't have to talk about it- I just thought since..." He trails off, and Shigeru's sob catches in his throat.

"Since I'm leaving?" He asks, voice quavering. He can't see Kyoutani from the way he's bent over, forehead pressing into his knees, but he can hear the way his breath catches. 

"...Yeah." Kyoutani says, his hands still burning holes through Shigeru's blazer. He makes no effort to remove them, and they're all Shigeru can even think about. "Can I- can I say what I was trying to say?"

Shigeru takes a steadying, shuddering breath and squeezes his eyes shut. "Go ahead." He says. His voice shakes.

"I love you." Kyoutani's voice comes out as unsteady as his, and he sucks in a large breath, gripping Shigeru's arm. "I love you." He repeats, with more confidence. 

Shigeru lets out a broken laugh, burying his face in his hands. "I'm leaving." He says.

"I know." Kyoutani replies, and there's such conviction in his voice Shigeru looks up, meeting his eyes. "I know." Kyoutani repeats, gripping Shigeru's arm even harder.

"My parents would never approve." He says. It all feels so surreal, him and Kyoutani, less than a foot apart with Kyoutani gripping his arm and tears running freely down his face. Shigeru hasn't let himself cry like this since he'd realized his secret, how he was different from the other boys in his class. Since he stayed up at night and forced himself to think of girls, nothing but girls, and repeated a mantra of _I'm normal I'm normal I'm normal._ He had cried then, tears soaking his pillow and leaving him with puffy eyes in the morning, and he cries now, barely caring how he looks.

Kyoutani's nose wrinkles. "Fuck your parents. It's not their life, is it?"

Shigeru laughs again, tossing his head back and dropping it against the headrest. "Fuck my parents, huh?" He mutters, staring at the ceiling. He takes a steeling breath before righting himself, grabbing Kyoutani's hand and prying it off his arm.

"Can we make this work?" He asks, locking eyes with Kyoutani. 

"Of course." He states back unblinkingly. "I can find a team in Tokyo. Rent'll be cheaper if we split it. There are plenty of apartments near your college." He rattles things off as if he's already planned it all out, made a list. It makes Shigeru want to laugh, but instead he just grins through his tears, bumping his forehead against Kyoutani's.

"I love you too." He says softly, accompanied by a squeeze of his hand. 

Kyoutani huffs. "Took you long enough." He says, before leaning in slightly and pressing his lips against Shigeru's.

It's soft, and warm, and a little bit wet from his tears, and this time Shigeru really does laugh, grasping the sides of Kyoutani's face and just grinning at him.

They're in Kyoutani's car, the engine still running and Kyoutani's blazer lost somewhere in the backseat, and Shigeru has never seen anyone so beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day!


End file.
